Well, I don't have any reasons to angry with God (Jamie Sullivan)

Monday, 20 July 2009

Everyday I’ve found myself in an uncertainty which accompany me to keep track of my labyrinth path rather than to obtain what it supposed to be. I may be kind of person who does not always get what I want, trying so hard to get the seasonable dreamland, because of this seasonableness then falling into the lower level which next becomes something unexpected. Who is supposed to be blame on then? My early thoughts even hiding in all of their innocent faces, then correctly stumble by my foot on my own banana peels. I want my anger so much more before I swerve myself to another seasonable distraction which emphasizing me into this again and again unfinished purpose. Though they positives, but they ruin me all the time, and it tortures sometimes. I always searching for people’s suggestions before I decide by myself, it does not mean that I always be bent down on them but at least they help me in consideration. Like it was a month ago,

Ok, so you're accepted in a scholarship from India. That is AWESOME!! Congrats. Hmm.... I dunno, it is rele depends on your decision. I’ve been to India and I know the positives and the negatives about that place. However, if you want my opinion, I would suggest you to stay in Indo. That’s just my opinion, you don’t have to take it. Here's the reason. Since you have grown MOST of your life and spend the education in Indo, it’s better for you not to change anything. And if you do, it will be tough for you. It’s like a brain of a baby, it's easy to teach a language/anything to a baby because it has not grasp anything much. But it is harder to teach a fully grown man because it has already grasp much more things in his brain. Lol, you know what I mean right? Again, it's all up to you.

But I couldn’t agree with him for that time, so I ran until a small group of ideas chosen to ensure me off. Absolutely not from me at all, because I one hundred percents believing that this came down from the deepest soul that Lord sent me into. I have another reason, not from my mother who said no, brother who said depends on my willingness to struggle alone there, sister who said yes, friends which mostly said no, cousin who said 6 to 10 for the departure, academic lecturer who said no, or my newly Indian friend which I tried so hard to find her there. This is the proof that I do not always use the chance which comes to me, the proof that I consider before I execute.

Like Buda and Pest, is this the best it gets? How do I know? Is this the best it gets? How do I know? Pretty much I know that this could be the best but then I have to prove it that yes this will be. I am wondering now, how do I teach myself to be focused on when the number allowed is limited. Is it true that pessimism could be the worst way to shatter on even persistence has been built for a long time? I am properly confined to this curiousness before the blaze suggested to be forced on me. Well, three years more here is probably hard enough rather than three years more there (for a challenge seeker’s mind like I have), but it is more challenging for me if I can get through on this. The question is, if this longing is beating my heart now, then should I need to pass it away? Fight against un-patiently feeling is really the best way for me to achieve this what-it-supposed-to-be. Even I am not sure of this supposed-to-be. Because yes, I am doing a job right now, and I count the steps that I take to choose it. No matter how much time, sweat, money, and parents’ approval that I tried for this because I am taking serious on it. So how about my supposed-to-be-thing? It is still on my number one life’s priority but honestly until this time, I do not have any plan to design it into somewhat people are commonly expect. I’m not destined to be that expectation (perhaps—for this time).

4 comments:

Lia's Monday, July 20, 2009 9:58:00 pm  

(Y)(Y)(Y)

missgaluh Tuesday, July 21, 2009 7:03:00 pm  

Love you, my dearest.. never hesitate to share your feelings and strong minds, to me, anytime you need.
Loveful, full love for ya..

zen Friday, July 24, 2009 2:16:00 am  

Finally....

MAYANG! Saturday, July 25, 2009 12:12:00 pm  

LIA : (v) (v) (v)
MBA : Alright, <3<3
(aku manggilnya apa) BANG ZEN : Finally what? Cancelled India ya? hehehe

  © Mayang Rizky The Remedy by Mayang Rizky

Back to TOP